Two years ago, I faced one of my most painful heartbreaks that I have ever experienced in my life. My husband admitted to something he had been battling with. Something he’d been deeply hurting with since he was a young boy. Something that had filled him with so much shame.

My husband had a sexual addiction. An addiction to pornography and it left me completely heartbroken and shattered. Our marriage soon became unrecognizable as I began to feel that I didn’t know who he was anymore.

Satan has been faithfully attacking me. I have my good days. And I have my bad days. Days where I know God will use this for His Goodness and Glory. But days that leave me feeling tattered and completely broken down.

Some days I feel so utterly spent and exhausted that my words can’t even muster a prayer. My words don’t make sense, my thoughts are forever one big mess, and most days all I can squeak out is, “God where are you? I need You more than I’ve ever needed you before. But I don’t feel You. I need You.”

Whenever I’ve shared my testimony, I’ve always shared from a place of overcome. But to say that I’m at that place in this season would be a complete lie. Even though I may not be in a place of overcome, God has been showing me that despite still being in the pit of my season…I am still in a place of victory.

He can still use my brokenness, my tattered heart, my painful story to not only still bring Him Glory...but bring Hope to others.

The enemy is hard at work. He is limited. But he is real. Very real. He is invisible to the eye, but a harsh sound and voice to the ears. And I’ve been allowing him to have free reign in my life for far too long now.

Each day is worth fighting for. No matter how weary or defeated I feel. If I give it my all...even when my all is 10%...I’m giving more than if I was feeling 100%, but only giving 80.

The battle is already won.

The enemy has been defeated. I can stand and live in victory now, because of Christ dying on the cross and defeating death for me. He carried all of my shame, all of my pain, all of my heartbreak.

We are already free through Christ, but it is our responsibility to live and operate in that freedom. Even though I still do not have all of the answers, I serve and follow a God who does.

I may not know what season you are in or what pit you may be finding yourself in, but if you are wondering if you can stand and live in victory after heartbreak, the truth is you absolutely can. But you have to allow God to work in your life like you have never trusted Him before.